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Saturday, November 21, 2009

[轉貼]婚姻裡的打擊手
 

「喂,妳也喜歡看棒球啊!」

我一邊在跑步機上執行健身計劃,一邊盯著眼前的棒球賽,看得聚精會神的時候,有人跟我說話,讓我嚇了一跳。

原來是與我同一健身房,有數面之緣的張先生,他在隔壁的跑步機上,也在看棒球轉播,我太專注了,沒注意到熟人就在身旁。

張先生是某出版公司的老板,是個溫和謙恭的人,他曾說,他每天的娛樂,就是看看四書五經、寫毛筆字和上健身房。

他的太太偶爾也會來,但從來不運動,只愛在女子三溫暖裡頭大聲的聊天,個性很熱情,但有時還挺呱噪的,張先生顯得沈默寡言許多。

聊了幾句有關棒球的話,張先生說出了他在棒球比賽中領悟的道理:「妳可能不知道,我年輕時,非常會跟我太太吵嘴,一度吵到要離婚,當初我很喜歡她的善良、熱情和直率,可是婚後,我發現直腸子也挺可怕的,講話像飛機投炸彈一樣,有時難免會炸到不該炸的地方,我們動不動就吵起來。

直到有一天看棒球,我忽然領悟了一個應答的理論:如果我是個打擊手的話,總不該什麼球都打吧!應該要選好球才打,如果她投出的是壞球,那麼我幹嘛一直揮棒呢?壞話就當沒聽見,她投偏了會自知理虧,如果我球都打壞會氣死自己。」

我覺得他的好壞球理論很有意思。

雖然,投手和打擊手應該屬於敵隊,對婚姻關係而言也許不那麼適用,但拿這理論來看職場上的人際關係,還真有幾分道理:如果人家不喜歡你,因而說出一些故意誣賴、栽贓、辱罵的話,我們不需要猛力揮棒來回應,因為那個球投得太壞,你再使力也不會打出全壘打,搞不好反而會被敵隊接殺,不如讓它無聲無息的落入捕手的手套裡。

壞球,不要打,值得打得球再回應好了,如果大家以打擊手理論看待愛情與婚姻,大概可以減少一些由小小口角,而引發的悲劇或鬧劇吧

sources: http://ibook.idv.tw/enews/enews421-450/enews441.html

道理還道理, 一直無反應就會被3陣出局@@"
 


Friday, November 06, 2009

[轉貼]你是人才還是人力
 

有個律師朋友在學校裡兼課,他常會找一些學生來工讀,或者是在接到某些公部門的研究案時,便會找一些研究助理幫忙。

有幾個年輕助理,跟著他兩、三年,我們也就認識了。

其中有個叫做阿雅的女孩,我頭一次見到她,她捧著好多檔案匣,像表演特技似的,從樓梯上下來。

滿臉都是笑容,嘴又甜,律師朋友對我說:「阿雅人很乖的。」

我一直以為他對阿雅很滿意,也以為阿雅畢業後會留在事務所,沒想到,有一天竟在電腦展覽場的叫賣攤位上,看見了吆喝著:「最後機會,割喉價!不買你會後悔!」的阿雅。

「什麼時候離開事務所的?」我在擁擠的人潮中,扯著嗓子問阿雅。

她的眼圈忽然有些紅:「離開三個月了。老師說我不是幹這一行的,我只好走了……」

我聽了覺得心酸,也不知道怎麼安慰她,扯開嗓門問:「妳在這裡還好嗎?」

「反正就是工作嘛。沒差!」她努力的笑著,給自己打氣。

人才是自已設定

過了一段時間,我遇見律師朋友,他身邊的助理變少了,也沒有那種像阿雅一樣笑臉迎人的類型。

「縮編啦?」我笑著問:「都看不見甜美的笑臉了。」

朋友微笑的說:「阿雅啊,我讓她離開了。她不適合做這個工作。」

「是嗎?我倒覺得她挺賣力的。」

「賣力有什麼用?我需要的是人才,不是人力。」

我有點震撼~關於人才與人力,確實是我以前沒想過的問題,我一直以為只要夠投入,就能把事情做好,卻忽略了專業性與準確性,是人才最重要的。

如果方法不對,就只是白費力氣,如果不能讓自己更專業,就無法成為人才,只能淪為人力。

人力隨處可得,人才卻需要發現,需要培養。

「你可以培養她,讓她變成人才啊。」我還在掙扎。

朋友疲倦的看了我一眼:「有些人已經設定了自己是人才,有些人無所謂,要怎麼培養啊?他自己都無所謂了。」

我忽然想到阿雅在賣場說的那句話:「反正就是工作嘛。沒差!」

也許就是因為都沒差,才失去了競爭力吧。


 


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

[轉貼]

Overweight 'should be protected'

Dance class
Laws in San Francisco aim to prevent fat discrimination

Attacking someone for being fat should be a hate crime, campaigners say.

They want so-called "fat-ism" to be made illegal on the same grounds as race, age and religious discrimination.

A demonstration was held outside the offices of the mayor of London asking him to lead the way in making sure employers are not prejudiced.

Protesters want the UK to follow San Francisco, where a law bans "fat-ism" in housing and employment and stops doctors pressing patients to slim down.

Sondra Solway, a San Francisco lawyer, said: "The San Francisco ordinance says you may want to mention weight to the patient but if the patient says they do not want to talk about that then you are asked to respect those wishes."

Size acceptance

In the UK, size is not a protected characteristic under discrimination legislation.

People who are very overweight do experience a lot of prejudice both in their social life and working life and do need some protection."
Dr Ian Campbell, Weight Concern

The campaigners, who belong to the Size Acceptance Movement, say surveys show 93% of employers would rather employ a thin person than a fat one even if they are equally qualified.

Kathryn Szrodecki, who campaigns on behalf of overweight people, said that in the UK fat people were stared at, pointed at, talked about and attacked.

She said: "I have been discriminated against - I am a YMCA qualified fitness instructor, but I have gone for jobs and been laughed off the premises."

Another campaigner, Marsha Coupe, said: "I have been punched, I have had beer thrown in my face, I have had people attack me on the train.

"They say 'Move out of the way fatty! Well person coming down the aisle!'"

Ms Szrodecki said: "This is a very common event - someone being beaten up should be a crime.

"It is not about who you are or what you have done, it is just about the way you look.

"You are allowed to shame us just because of the way we look."

Dr Ian Campbell of the charity Weight Concern said he was doubtful that legislation would have any immediate effect on the situation.

He said: "People who are very overweight do experience a lot of prejudice both in their social life and working life and do need some protection.

"We know that genetic and social reasons can lead to this very complex problem.

"For instance, people in inner cities are much more likely to be overweight because of poorer education, poorer housing and poorer job opportunities.

"Not everyone has a free choice about controlling their weight."

A spokesman for the Equality and Human Rights Commission said size was already protected by the legislation if it was caused by a disability: "Potentially human rights legislation would also cover people by protecting their right to work."

A full report appears in Inside Out London Tonight at 1930 BST on BBC1.

sources: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8314125.stm


Monday, October 12, 2009

[轉貼]Obesity and mental health linked

Obese woman
The research is based on an online survey of 320 people

People with mental health problems are likely to avoid gyms and physical exercise due to embarrassment and fear of being judged, a survey has found.

The Scottish Association for Mental Health (SAMH) said it helps explain why people with issues like depression are more likely to become obese.

The survey also found people with mental health problems were four times more likely to have diabetes.

SAMH said obesity and mental health issues must not become closely linked.

Out of 112 people with mental health problems who were questioned, 9% said they would be too embarrassed and 11% said they worried people would judge them.

This important survey by SAMH shows the importance of mental health issues in Scotland's health challenges
Peter Rice, Royal College of Psychiatrists Scotland

Of the 138 people who did not have a mental health problem, 1% said they would be too embarrassed and 2% were concerned about being judged.

Billy Watson, SAMH chief executive, said: "Our research presents compelling evidence that people with mental health problems often feel unable to attend local exercise facilities.

"This must be addressed by ensuring that such facilities do not discriminate against people with mental health problems.

Alcohol consumption

"We believe it is crucial that mental health problems and obesity do not become an inevitable partnership and immediate action is required to address this."

SAMH questioned 320 people through its website on aspects of physical and mental health between 10 August and 20 September this year.

Out of those quizzed 112 said they currently had a mental health problem, 67 said they had a problem in the past and 138 said they had not had a mental health problem.

The research also found that people with mental health problems were more likely to be unable to afford to buy more fruit and vegetables, more likely to have sought help to reduce their alcohol consumption and experienced physical health problems.

'Important survey'

Men with current mental health problems were twice as likely as men with no mental health history to drink more than the recommended 21 units per week.

The questionnaire also found people with current or previous mental health problems were more likely to smoke and have more than 20 cigarettes per day.

Peter Rice, Chairman of Royal College of Psychiatrists Scotland and Consultant Psychiatrist, said: "This important survey by SAMH shows the importance of mental health issues in Scotland's health challenges.

"The high rates of diabetes and high blood pressure identified will be contributed to by the barriers which people with mental health problems face in accessing exercise facilities." 上

sources:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/8298080.stm
well, it may be an interesting and great topic on FYP=]

lots of psychology knowledge should be shown and requried rather than nutritional sense


Friday, October 09, 2009

today is quite special to me~

there are 4 friends' brithday today,

but i dont hv any celebration for them, so sorry about that.

the professor from UK say morning to me, he is so nice and remember who i am.

either local lecturer or some known people, they may not be to so.

at night i hv a gathering with the IVE's classmates, fantistic and relaxed!

the most special thing is i meet 7 friends today without consent and chat with them.
(Yuen @ secondary school, Eddie and Him @ 11325A lower classmen, Eddie @ Japan Study Tour, Vivian @ IVE Lecturer, Dickson and Anson @11325A classmates) 


i seldom communicate with my friends but today i do so much!

 i have lots of sharing and chating to the others. how a greatful day today it is!! =]



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